


i won't be killed by someone like you

by blinkerstone



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Canon-Typical Misogyny, Gen, Harm to Children, Shinji PoV, Vomiting, anti-shinji fic, not a feel good fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25577779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blinkerstone/pseuds/blinkerstone
Summary: At the end of the world, a girl wakes up.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji & Souryuu Asuka Langley
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	i won't be killed by someone like you

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic! i do not write fiction, so this is scary lol

As Shinji slid off of Asuka’s trembling body into the sand, his shoulders collapsed in with sobs, ugly hiccupy gulps of air. His tears stung like oil on their way out. He felt sick.

“Mis-Misato…” He coughed out, drool and phlegm collecting at the corners of his mouth. She was gone. Everybody was gone, trapped in the body of that  _ thing _ , everybody except, inexplicably, Asuka. Who would hate him, who deserved to hate him, after everything he did to her. His fingers ached with the taut stretch of skin, an aftershock of the force of burrowing them into her throat. At the end of the world, he was stuck with the girl he hated most. And she hates him, she’s cruel, and selfish, and a tease, and just like him.

Shinji flexed his hands in a desperate attempt to regain some sort of control, and Asuka sat up. He flinched as she stood clumsily, careful to avoid using her bandaged arm for leverage, and politely vomited into the carmine waters at her feet, spitty and yellow chunks of hospital food and IV drip fluid from this morning. This morning Asuka was silent and comatose, Misato was alive, and the lake was blue.

Curling her arm against her chest with a muted grunt of pain, Asuka started walking inland. The dull pad of her plugsuit heels into the sand were a stilted, exhausting rhythm. Shinji looked up as he wiped a dirty hand across his eyes. He half leaned, half crawled towards her, hand outstretched feebly.

“Asuka, no, please.  _ Please, _ I can’t be alone. I’ll even stay with you, I can’t, you can’t-” he swallowed and it felt like dirt. “You can’t leave me alone, you’ll kill me.”

Asuka flared on her heel to look at him, a bristlingly defiant gesture, the first familiar thing she’s done in weeks. Her eyes weren’t the dead catatonia of when she’d washed up on the beach, but exposed wiring, sharp, sparking. Shinji drew his hand back. Don’t hurt me. Don’t leave me alone, you  _ bitch. _

“You really think we’re special enough to be the only ones who made it out?” Asuka spat out a weak laugh, hints of her strident nature creeping through despite her exhaustion. “I’m a failed pilot, same as a dozen other children, I’m sure. And you?” She looked darkly amused. “You’re just a failed pilot who turned out to be Ayanami’s favorite.” She glanced at the bisected titan resting at the other end of the lake. “What a freak. At least she ended up doing something interesting.”

She kept walking, and after a few moments, Shinji shakily stood up and started jogging after her. She stopped at a chunk of wood clumsily shoved upright into the sand, already collapsing and sinking to the side minutes after Shinji had put it up. She bent down and, with a grunt of effort, ripping the heavy metal cross that had been nailed to it.

Shinji yelped in indignant surprise. “What are you-”

“If we see Misato when we get back to headquarters, she’ll kill me if she finds out I let you steal her jewelry.” The girl tossed the pendant up and down in her hand, the tarnished silver thunking against the plastic carapace of her suit. “And if we don’t see her, I’ll kill you for losing this myself. Just because you’re too lazy to make sure you’re not the last person on the planet doesn’t mean the rest of us are as weak-willed. Show some follow-through, idiot.”

She hunched over and vomited again, Shinji looked down at his feet. He heard her breathing shakily with exertion, and then footsteps as she walked towards him, She clapped him on the shoulder, and he looked up. She was crying, tears running tracks through sand and blood. She looked like a little kid.

“If you ever touch me again, Shinji Ikari,” Her voice broke. There was still a string of vomit hanging out of her mouth, and she was crying. But her jaw was proud and lifted, her eyes bright and angry. “I will rip off what’s left of my arm and beat you to death with it.”

Shinji started sobbing again, and Asuka nodded mutely, turned, and kept walking. Her knuckles tight around Misato’s cross.

It took nearly an hour for them to reach Nerv’s headquarters, a stagnant pace compared to their how long it took during their usual after-school synchronization tests, due to Asuka’s injuries and the fifty foot tall artificial EVAs and debris that littered their path. Asuka took great pains to avert her eyes at the sight of the monsters. Shinji stared up at one as they walked past. This is what had destroyed Asuka. The idea that she could lose was foreign to him. But recently - he flexed his hand again, a twitch of guilt running through his body- he supposed she had a losing streak. 

Without time to think, Shinji inhaled sharply as he felt the tip of something cold and hard press against his back. Asuka turned around to see, and gave him a grimace of a smile as a JSSDF soldier pressed a pistol to her temple and barked an order not to move.

“See, Shinji? We’re not the only ones alive.”


End file.
